Fugate - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: When Fathers Abandon Their Sons

This chapter explores the emasculation of boys and men in our society.

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According to Fugate, after WWII, America entered into a time of tremendous prosperity. Men, in pursuit of this prosperity, were gone long hours from the home. Women were now running the homes and schools. Behavioral psychology (child-centered parenting) was influencing these mothers, as per Dr. Spock. From about 1950, boys were brought up in a women-dominated environment. “Fathers were often absent from the home and unable to influence their boys properly... They had mothers at home, female teachers at school, and even women Sunday school teachers in most cases.”

“In general, men of this period avoided active roles in their marriages and parenting. They spent themselves in the areas they could handle: making money and pursuing self-interests. .. They did not spend much time character training their sons in such necessary qualities as: loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, honor, courage, bravery, self-discipline, self-sacrifice, compassion, respect for women etc. As a result, these boys were denied essential training in being a man.”

After setting the stage, Fugate then springs the natural result, that the women in their lives attempted to train out or tether everything that makes a boy a male. For instance, “...male aggression, often uncleanness, risk-taking, academic laziness, and general uncouthness are not very ladylike.” Being female, women really knew very little about how to help boys develop their masculinity correctly. With proper male influence now nearly non-existent, “boys began to be raised more like women than men.” E.g. “King of the Mountain has been changed from a game where each boy's bravery, courage, and leadership was tested; to a girl's game where everyone holds hands and circles the mountain like it was a fairy castle... with boys being told not to push or pull in line.”

No one seemed to realize that when aggression is completely trained out (or shamed out) of a boy, it can produce a man who won't fight to provide for or protect his wife and family. E.g. “A sensitivity training game for children was developed by psychologists called, The Un-game. It was popular with psychologists, Christian teachers, and mothers because there was no competition – no winners or losers; and because it dealt with mostly feminine interests.... men who have been taught that all competitiveness is wrong will not likely strive for leadership positions in business, military, or government (or even in their own homes).” Leadership requires moral courage and the willingness to stand accountable for one's actions, even when wrong.

Fugate then turns to the question, “Where did all our character go?” In answering this, he defines civilized nations as “those who are governed by a system of just laws... where male citizens in particular are trained to conduct themselves with honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty, bravery, and courage.” Those nations that instead produce a mob of ignorant and selfish humans are savages. Fugate continues by providing evidence of a society slipping further and further into savagery. “Civilized people provide for their own welfare; savages demand to be fed, housed, and taken care of medically by others,

Ultimately, Fugate claims, “fathers must take total responsibility for any lack of training of their son's masculinity. It would not have happened without their avoidance of fatherhood.”

The Cat's Comments:

I remember when I was a boy, we played football(tackle), dodgeball, tag, and “smear the queer” at school during each of the two recesses and lunchtime every day at school. Our lunchtime lasted one hour, so if you were quick about it, boys had over an hour every day at school to play aggressive games. Girls were generally excluded, by their own desire.

At home, the boys in the neighborhood would get together, take play guns, and form teams that would “hunt down” and “shoot” the other team. We played this game for hours on end for several years. As none of us have become homicidal maniacs (that I know of), I think the aggressive play we engaged in was for the better.

Today, the boys are not allowed to play any of those games except tag. All the others are “outlawed” because they are too “violent” and “someone might get hurt”. In fact, bruises and skinned knees and elbows were extremely common. But the boys that played, were better for it.

I remember in 2^nd grade, the schools introduced a counselor into the curriculum. All the kids were required to sit around in a circle and listen to her tell us stories with the help of “DuSo” the dolphin. DuSo was supposed to help all the kids talk about good and bad behavior. He was supposed to be encourage kids to see others feelings and to “respect others for who they were.” I also remember that I got in trouble (in 2^nd grade) for beating another kid in a chess game – not so much because I beat him, but because he felt bad when I beat him.

In 4^th grade, the school introduced the “Values Clarification” curriculum. This curriculum was designed to teach us how to be sensitive to others and their feelings. As I remember it, it was highly centered around what I identify as female sensitivities. I've also read several other books about how boys are being systematically emasculated. I tend to agree with the claims that boys are not being taught how to be truly masculine men. They are not being taught the values that are important for success as men.

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