Zero Tolerance

These zero tolerance rules are absolutely ridiculous! It allows human beings to act like morons rather than the thinking individuals that they were meant to be.

Scissors found in 4^th graders backpack

My goodness, when I was in elementary school, everyone understood that scissors were tools, not weapons. In fact, it wasn't unusual for little boys to have a small pocket knife (a boy scout one usually). Now this little 10 year old girl is being suspended and possibly expelled for a pair of scissors that were never even brought out of her backpack, but were found in an unrelated search! Worse was that the little girl was hauled off to jail in handcuffs! - Literally! Truthfully, where is the crime here?

Fugate - Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Effects of Matriarchy on Boys

In Chapter 4, Fugate expands on the effects of boys being raised by women. The crux of his thinking is that boys without strong biblical male influences tend to gravitate towards two extremes on the masculinity scale - specifically “macho” and “effeminate”.

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Boys with naturally strong masculine egos tend to become little macho maniacs. In many cases this behavior develops from a resentment or anger of women in general throughout the years spent in a matriarchal “prison”. They generally tended to be the boys that were loud, rowdy, and/or clumsy. When boys hit the 10-13 year old range, the hormones flowing through their bodies cause them to act even more macho- “like a boss over all women.” This is natural and it is God preparing then to be the leaders, providers, and protectors for their eventual wives and families.

Now that they have the urge to step into the role that God is preparing them for, the role of the father becomes critical. He must redirect the boy's natural aggression into activities that reinforce what God intends for the boy to become in manhood – the provider, protector, and leader of his family. Fugate suggests that strongly masculine boy's aggression be shaped by a father into self-discipline through strenuous work (chopping wood, painting the house, or digging mom a flower/vegetable garden- something worthy of a man-in-training). Athletic activity can also channel excess aggression away from the normal feminine influences in his life. Fugate is adamant that these activities should be supervised and directed by fathers specifically – not mothers or other female caregivers. The father must be responsible for correcting unacceptable macho behavior quickly and efficiently.

A huge danger for macho boys is to see or perceive his father “cowering” before the aggressive, noncompliant attitude of his mother. The boy knows that this should not be the natural order of things. Fugate believes that in an adolescent boy, this will translate into further aggressiveness towards females for their humiliation of males and a deep resentment of those females that he will encounter in later life. The untrained boy becomes the undeveloped man, who knows neither his role in a family, nor the balance in his own life necessary for biblical manhood. These undeveloped overly macho men can become almost violent when a wife (or other female) questions them -about anything.

The alternate side of the spectrum are the boys that react to the matriarchy by becoming emasculated or effeminate. “These are the compliant little boys who always try to please their mothers and other female caregivers. They are generally nice and socialize well with girls and other similarly disposed boys... Mothers and teachers love this kind of boy because he is no trouble, is helpful around the house, generally does well in academics, and doesn't even get dirty very often... [A female] easily manipulates these boys by withholding approval, telling them they have disappointed her, or telling him that she is so ashamed of him.”

This is where a father must step in to provide the role model necessary for the boy to transition into the role that God has prepared for him. This requires a LOT of time and a variety of circumstances with the father. Trips to the auto parts store, to the hardware store, etc. - everywhere that provides an example of how a biblical man deals with life, other men, and women. Fugate mentions that, “some monitoring of the mother/son relationship may also be needed if the mother has been overly protective or controlling.”

The Cat's Comments:

My gut reaction is that Fugate draws some very broad strokes in his generalizations. However, I do see the shards of truth embedded throughout this chapter.

After writing the previous sentence, I just sat for a few minutes thinking about where I have fallen on Fugate's spectrum through different times in my life. I think about my Dad and where he falls. I think about David and where I perceive him to be. Since I know there are a few people who read this that I love, I have decided not to be totally blunt over events that are long past or that would cause pain to those I love. (Yes I know – where's my journalistic disregard for the feelings of others.)

But since I have been serving as one of the leaders in the RA's at our church for the past few months, I will comment about what I see among the boys in our group. For those who don't know about RA's, Wed night at about 6:30 is when we convene. About 12 boys come in and we generally have a game or activity that allows them to burn off some energy in a competitive environment where teamwork is usually required, but not necessarily an activity where the more athletic boys have any advantage. The lesson is broken into one for older boys and one for younger boys. It generally involves reading about 2-3 pages out of a workbook and doing a quick reinforcing activity over what has been read. They are then brought back into the main group to reinforce the high points of the lesson, followed by prayer and dismissal around 7:30.

Since joining the leadership, I have experienced a range of emotions as I have dealt with each boy's particular idiosyncrasies. First was shock that few of the boys can read at anywhere near grade level. Second was anger at the disrespect shown to myself and the other leaders. My natural reaction if these boys were mine would have been immediate spankings for the disrespect shown to myself and the other adults.

However, a turning point occurred when I decided that since most of the boys were not used to strong leadership at home or especially at church, I was going to be the strong leader/male influence that the boys are missing. Mostly, it involved “intimidation” of several of the ringleaders. A 230 pound former Marine 3 inches from your nose, boring straight into your eyes, and speaking in a low deadpan tone about what he finds unacceptable about your behavior (with a few twitching snarls thrown in) is enough to grab most boys' attention. It seems to have worked. Now I can generally speak a command, and the boys respond to it with little if any back-talk. Praise and encouragement is never far behind for a job well done. When they end up getting a little rowdy during the wrap-up and prayer, I announce that if they wanted to act like little girls instead of men, then I was going to hold their hands just like I would hold a little girls hand. I do follow through with the threat, and when I do, the nonsense seems to stop immediately. As near as I can figure, we've lost 1 boy on account of it. But the rest seem to be responding well. I haven't felt the need to get into anyone's face in nearly two months.

So in view of Fugate, what is happening? I think that about 1/3 of the boys tend towards the macho end of the scale - Loud, rowdy, trying to prove they are the “King of the Mountain”. This crew definitely needs some strong male presence in their lives, willing to channel and redirect their young energies to appropriate man-in-training activities. The strong, in your face, I am the King of the Mountain tactic works well to get and hold their attention.

1/4 are on the effeminate end. Some of these are younger kids that still haven't cut away from mama. If they can find a skirt to hide behind they will. But one in particular, wants to rough-house, and could hold his own if he had the courage to stay in the fray. But the other boys have sensed that he doesn't like to get hurt and so most of their effort is spent provoking him because he doesn't know how to handle himself socially yet. They think it is fun to get a rise out of him. In a female centered environment, he could count on having someone step in for him. But with no females in RA's, he is being forced to fend for himself for at least 20 minutes a week.

So far, my efforts with him have been to pull him aside when he's gotten himself pretty deep in it with the other boys and let him know why they are picking on him and what he can do to stop it. I can tell that its going to be a long uphill battle for this kid. Interestingly, this boy's dad does a lot of traveling. His mom is a woman with a strong personality and a tendency to either dote on him or browbeat him. He is home schooled so he spends a ton of time with her and a much older sister.

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BBC Coverage of USMC attack on Fallujah

Here's some video that you won't find on American TV. I recommend watching this 20 minute BBC documentary of the attack on Fallujah. It was originally linked to by BlackFive.

BBC video by Paul Wood covering U.S. Marines during the attack on Fallujah

I don't know how the mainstream media(MSM) can live with themselves. They have never been interested in showing the real story.

Rifle v. Tank Maingun

This video is supposedly of an Iraqi insurgent and an unidentifed anti-tank weapon (TOW, Dragon, or LAAW). I'm guessing that its a LAAW or a Tank Maingun.

I had to snicker a little when I saw this video. Seems the guy brought a rifle to a Tank fight. (Ouch!)

Rifle v. Tank Maingun

Until Then...Tribute to Military Families

Little Green Footballs had a link to this tribute to American military families. It is a terrific link!

Until Then

Fugate - Chapter 3

Chapter 3: When Fathers Abandon Their Sons

This chapter explores the emasculation of boys and men in our society.

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According to Fugate, after WWII, America entered into a time of tremendous prosperity. Men, in pursuit of this prosperity, were gone long hours from the home. Women were now running the homes and schools. Behavioral psychology (child-centered parenting) was influencing these mothers, as per Dr. Spock. From about 1950, boys were brought up in a women-dominated environment. “Fathers were often absent from the home and unable to influence their boys properly... They had mothers at home, female teachers at school, and even women Sunday school teachers in most cases.”

“In general, men of this period avoided active roles in their marriages and parenting. They spent themselves in the areas they could handle: making money and pursuing self-interests. .. They did not spend much time character training their sons in such necessary qualities as: loyalty, honesty, trustworthiness, honor, courage, bravery, self-discipline, self-sacrifice, compassion, respect for women etc. As a result, these boys were denied essential training in being a man.”

After setting the stage, Fugate then springs the natural result, that the women in their lives attempted to train out or tether everything that makes a boy a male. For instance, “...male aggression, often uncleanness, risk-taking, academic laziness, and general uncouthness are not very ladylike.” Being female, women really knew very little about how to help boys develop their masculinity correctly. With proper male influence now nearly non-existent, “boys began to be raised more like women than men.” E.g. “King of the Mountain has been changed from a game where each boy's bravery, courage, and leadership was tested; to a girl's game where everyone holds hands and circles the mountain like it was a fairy castle... with boys being told not to push or pull in line.”

No one seemed to realize that when aggression is completely trained out (or shamed out) of a boy, it can produce a man who won't fight to provide for or protect his wife and family. E.g. “A sensitivity training game for children was developed by psychologists called, The Un-game. It was popular with psychologists, Christian teachers, and mothers because there was no competition – no winners or losers; and because it dealt with mostly feminine interests.... men who have been taught that all competitiveness is wrong will not likely strive for leadership positions in business, military, or government (or even in their own homes).” Leadership requires moral courage and the willingness to stand accountable for one's actions, even when wrong.

Fugate then turns to the question, “Where did all our character go?” In answering this, he defines civilized nations as “those who are governed by a system of just laws... where male citizens in particular are trained to conduct themselves with honesty, trustworthiness, loyalty, bravery, and courage.” Those nations that instead produce a mob of ignorant and selfish humans are savages. Fugate continues by providing evidence of a society slipping further and further into savagery. “Civilized people provide for their own welfare; savages demand to be fed, housed, and taken care of medically by others,

Ultimately, Fugate claims, “fathers must take total responsibility for any lack of training of their son's masculinity. It would not have happened without their avoidance of fatherhood.”

The Cat's Comments:

I remember when I was a boy, we played football(tackle), dodgeball, tag, and “smear the queer” at school during each of the two recesses and lunchtime every day at school. Our lunchtime lasted one hour, so if you were quick about it, boys had over an hour every day at school to play aggressive games. Girls were generally excluded, by their own desire.

At home, the boys in the neighborhood would get together, take play guns, and form teams that would “hunt down” and “shoot” the other team. We played this game for hours on end for several years. As none of us have become homicidal maniacs (that I know of), I think the aggressive play we engaged in was for the better.

Today, the boys are not allowed to play any of those games except tag. All the others are “outlawed” because they are too “violent” and “someone might get hurt”. In fact, bruises and skinned knees and elbows were extremely common. But the boys that played, were better for it.

I remember in 2^nd grade, the schools introduced a counselor into the curriculum. All the kids were required to sit around in a circle and listen to her tell us stories with the help of “DuSo” the dolphin. DuSo was supposed to help all the kids talk about good and bad behavior. He was supposed to be encourage kids to see others feelings and to “respect others for who they were.” I also remember that I got in trouble (in 2^nd grade) for beating another kid in a chess game – not so much because I beat him, but because he felt bad when I beat him.

In 4^th grade, the school introduced the “Values Clarification” curriculum. This curriculum was designed to teach us how to be sensitive to others and their feelings. As I remember it, it was highly centered around what I identify as female sensitivities. I've also read several other books about how boys are being systematically emasculated. I tend to agree with the claims that boys are not being taught how to be truly masculine men. They are not being taught the values that are important for success as men.

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Fugate - Chapter 2

Chapter 2: History's Effect on the American Family

Chapter 2 is primarily a continuation of the introduction in Chapter 1. Fugate concentrates on the period after WWII until the present. He breaks the generations into 4 major groupings and then compares the generalized ideologies of each of them. Fugate has, in his own mind at least, cataloged the entire problem, and provides only the accusation and anecdotal evidence of the nosedive America has taken.

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The G.I. and “Silent Generation” are the two generations that Fugate pins the downfall on. These Generations were those born prior to 1945 and that lived through/survived WWI, the Great Depression, and WWII. The key outward characteristics were toughness and frugalness. Yet they also harbored insecurity about their future. According to Fugate, their own trials caused these generations to want to,

“ensure that their children would never have to experience war and deprivation. These survivors supported almost any politicians promise to eliminate the risks and dangers from life. They allowed the establishment of a world government(UN)
and the implementation of Roosevelt's master plan to socialize America.”...”They threw themselves into hard work and protected their children from any hardships... they did not stand up against the evils in society. They were silent about our government's increasing move toward socialism... They quietly
allowed the public schools to move away from educational basics, the Church to move away from teaching the Bible, and the media to move away from any common decency.”

Fugate charges that the 1950's began the decades of totally missing fathers. Men became so engrossed in their work and providing for their families, that they were never at home, and had no time for child training, camping, sporting events, school activities, Church, or anything else with their children. Instead they showered their kids with prosperity, seemingly unaware of the role hardship had played in forging their own characters. The children of the 1940's and 1950's became the young adults of the 1960's and 1970's. They were the kids abandoned by their fathers and their working mothers. They grew up hating materialism. Starved for family and “belonging”, they accepted few Biblical standards for right and wrong and embraced the immoral sexual and drug revolutions. They became known as the “Me” generation.

Fugate categorizes Gen X as essentially,

“The latchkey kids of the 1970's that became adults in the 1980's with little idea whom they were or what they were supposed to do... Their understanding of reality was shaped by their peers and the ever-present media... [they] had been
brainwashed into accepting the lie of evolution... Lacking self-discipline, they expected immediate results for anything they endeavored. And of course they expected the government to pay all of their bills as Mom and Dad had always done.”

It seems that the jury is still out on the Millenial Generation (born 1982-2000). Though Fugate purports that they, “are said to be disrespectful, self-centered, materialistic, and technologically savvy. They have had virtually no positive role models.”

The Cat's Comments:

Fugate is sixty something. This makes him one of the Boomers, probably born in the early 1940's. I understand his premise in this chapter, essentially, that the sins of the father are visited on the sons. Since I am none of the earliest generations he speaks about (G.I. and Silent), I can only look at those men from that generation that I knew.

I look at my Grandfather McLain, part of the G.I. Generation. I knew him as a child and also as a young man, though only within the context of the grandfather-grandson relationship. The stories I heard about him and my own experience suggest that Fugate is right on the money about this generation. Specifically, that this generation was “moral, God-fearing, industrious, financially frugal, self-reliant, and authoritarian in child training.” I remember the stories of how he would pick up pieces of old barbed wire, because “he might need it someday”, or how he would give a nickel to his daughters so they could go to the Saturday matinee and tell them “not to spend it all in one place”. I have also heard that he had multiple unrelated business ventures going at one time, so that if one was experiencing a slump, it wouldn't wipe him out. I also remember that he rarely showed up at a grandkid's house without some new toy or puzzle for them. Truthfully, I believe Fugate did hit the nail on the head with this generation.

My Dad would be classified as part of the Silent Generation. Fugate says characteristically, they are strong but silent, they don't make waves, independent, self-sufficient, and private. He implies, though never states, that they were living under the shadow of the previous generation. Most of this generation knew the sacrifices that the earlier generation had made. But this generation was too young to fight in WWII, so they had no claim to glory in their own minds. As a generation, they were always the kids of the “Greatest Generation Ever”. They had nothing to compare, so they were silent. Looking at my Dad, I tend to agree. While I was being raised, I remember several instances where rather than “make waves”, he kept his mouth shut and just went around obstacles. The effort to grow his estate shows the self-sufficiency and independence inherent in his generation. I admire that independence and self-sufficiency.

Though technically I'm a Boomer, I self-identify more with the GenXers. When I became an adult, I had very little idea who I was or what I was supposed to do. According to Fugate, I lack self-discipline(This is true) and expect immediate results for everything I do(This is also true). Even to this day, I wonder what in the world I'm supposed to do with myself and how I really fit into God's plan. My biggest fear is that I will never accomplish anything because I don't have the self-discipline to stick out a long arduous journey where the results aren't readily apparent.

I started out expecting to slam Fugate for this chapter of “blaming the fathers”. I still think that he is blaming prior generations. I reject his blame game. I will set the blame squarely where it belongs. I am a man and I am accountable for myself and my actions. I will not blame prior generations. I can wish that they had trained me better in my duties and taught me self-discipline, but ultimately, I must be responsible - even for my own training. I feel that this is where I am headed. As I stated in the first post , I am seeking more practical insight into who God intends me to be as a man and what He intends for me to do as the man I am.

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Compassion From Killers - Marine Commander Speaks Out

This is a link to an interesting letter from LtCol Smith 2/24 in Iraq. Compassion From Killers - Marine Commander Speaks Out
LtCol Smith understands his mission and its true timing.

Fugate - Chapter 1

UPDATE: What is a Man? Having finished Fugate's book, I've decided to go back and give a chapter by chapter review of his main points and my thoughts on each.

Chapter 1: How Historical Events have Affected the American Male

Fugate begins with the 105 settlers at Jamestown(1607) - all Male - and walks through to the 1820s. Men were the leaders, providers, and protectors of their families. There were relatively few changes in society during this time period. Around 1840, the industrial revolution began. The American family began to restructure itself.

"Fathers began to leave the homestead and work in cities and the men/father influence in society began to decrease. Most home functions(growing food, making clothes, building furniture, training the children) had to be abandoned. It was
during this time that women/mothers, instead of men/fathers gradually became the moral leaders of the home, family, school, Church, and social reform."

As men grappled with the industrial revolution, women began to see themselves as the moral leaders of society - as the champions of justice and crusaders for the downtrodden and disadvantaged. Men began deserting the classrooms and Sunday schools of the 1850's. By 1890, 67% of public school teaching positions were held by women and over 90% of children's Sunday school teachers were women. Throughout this period women also began to exercise their new social consciences outside the home. E.g. In 1874, The Women's Christian Temperance Union (an offshoot of the 1826 temperance movement to combat drunkenness and promote temperance). In 1849, women took over and renamed the American Anti-Slavery Society to the Women's Abolitionist Movement. The Suffrage movement began in 1849 and joined forces with the Women's Christian Temperance Union in 1890.

The culmination of these movements were the 15th Amendment (ratified 1870) giving black men the right to vote, the 18th Amendment (ratified 1920) initiating prohibition, and the 19th Amendment (ratified 1920) giving women the vote. Winning the right to vote meant that now women could legally negate men's vote on any political issue. Women's votes have been the determining factor in electing every social-issues politician since the 1920s. These social issues include protecting children(orphanages and work prohibitions); relieving poverty(food and clothing for the destitute); preventing harsh justice(prison reform and abolition of capitol punishment); providing cradle-to-grave education; preventing private gun ownership; and preventing national preparations for war. From their new position of power, women have been trying to eliminate mankind's suffering through legislation for the past eighty years.

Unfortunately, women's extraordinary efforts in the areas of health, education, and welfare have led to vast government programs that have nearly bankrupted the nation. Yet, our public education system now produces the lowest results in our nations history, our social security/retirement system is in severe trouble, and our welfare system has become a windfall for swindlers. Women's right to vote has not solved mankind's ills.

The Cat's Comments

An interesting note is that prohibition was a major contributor to the rise of organized crime. It also contributed to political and law enforcement corruption.

Although it is easy to blame women, I think we need to remember that men left their post. Men were in charge. Men were the leaders. Men abdicated their roles and responsibilities. Women just stepped up to the table. Once at the table, they decided they liked the new found power. Its obvious that the genie can't be put back in the bottle. Men are going to have to step back up to the table and re-establish their leadership. In some cases there will be loud cries of foul (and foul cries) by women. In others, there will be grateful acquiescence by women. But it is ludicrous to expect women to willingly give up the power they have without viable men to turn it back over to.

Tomorrow, I will comment on Chapter 2.

David says the darndest things

This is a true story that happened a few years ago.

Our family was watching the Miami - St. Louis game. In order to promote a bit of good natured rivalry, our common practice is to flip for a team to root for. My wife got Miami and I got St. Louis. With my wife hooting and hollering for Miami, my five year old son was getting very excited and started hollering for Miami too. When the final gun sounded and realizing that Miami had just won, he bounded over to my wife and exclaimed, "Mommy, Mommy, R-ami won!!"

And another one.

Recently, my mother and I had a disagreement over the phone. After an hour, I decided I didn't want to continue fighting with her, so I told my son, David, that we were going over to grammy's to "unruffle some feathers". As soon as we arrived at Grammy's house, David ran up to her and breathlessly exclaimed, "Grammy, we're here to straighten out your feathers!"

I Love this kid!